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So much has changed since i posted!! My bf and I moved in together over a yr ago and things r just so awesome between us! <3 The bf also just graduated college and already has a teaching job!!! Im so proud of him!! And two of my bestest friends r getting married and I'm going to be her maid of honor!!!

But the biggest change, which is why I wanted to posted, is i'm in al-anon and I just had my 1 yr b-day night at my home meeting last night. Al-anon is like AA but for the family and friends of alcholoics. My mom was a really bad drinker when i was younger and I have just been hurting on the inside in ways I never quite realised. My bf has been in Al-anon for most of his life and told me about it but I went cause I had my breaking moment where my life was unmanagbeable anymore.

So last night I got my first chip and my word for the year and while I was giving my lead i never really realised how much my word, Courage, was involved in my story. I didnt even realise until people started giving me comments and I was blushing so hard. I asked my bf's dad to come since he has been in AA like longer than i have been alive and when he walked up to me and said my lead was really good, i wanted to melt. He can be a hard guy to impress and it was nice to hear him comment me.

So I look forward to his coming up year of continuing to grow and be a better person and breaking the walls i have built up over the years and getting closer to my sisters and dad, and being the best partner i can be to my bf and to myself. Until then Im just going to rub my chip to death out of happiness!

real post!

 so another list update people!!!

- So i FINISHED my story in May!!! took me like a bit over 6 months to write! I STILL can't believe that step one is DONE!!

-I printed out my story read/edited it. Im kind of surprised how well it came out. Yes a LOT of work is needed on it but i think it has a solid base so thats a good start!

-I had edited my story on my comp just to LOSE ALL OF IT!!!! I worked on it for TWO DAYS!! add 14 new pgs and almost 6,000 words to do it! to say i was heart broken would be saying it too softly. I cried my heart out at like 2 in the morning and i had to call cc to get me to stop. and im completely dishearted to re-edit all over again but honestly im almost over it. would be working on it now if i didnt even my binder at home. (At Jen's house tonight)
-Acen was a blast!! but im still trying to decide if im going to work at Jen's booth at youmacon if she goes, just cause my friends missed me at Acen. I now she doesnt mind i leave every once in awhile, but i feel guilty X_X Cause im just that nice and a worry wort!!

-CC left like a week ago and i miss her a lot. she is my bestie and i miss her!
-Anime Expo next weekend!! so excited!! and Comic-com in like a month!!! I CANT WAIT!!!!!!!
-I got the Book of Mormon sound track and ITS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!! so funny and m-rated!! South park guys u never fail!! <3 But please bring it to chicago soon plz?! cause i want to c it!

-Its like hot in jen's apt. :-P
-I miss my puppy cause he is cute!! but he would be too warm to have on the bed tonight!
-my sisters' came home from college................... u can bet how  that is going X_X

-Dad came home for father's day.................. ya that was fun too.

-I is getting a new phone too- called at&t myself!

-my awful co-worker is just getting worst. i plan to go over my bosses head but she gets me written up again when i did nothing.
-its really hot. just saying.
-I'm seriously thinking of wanting to take a few writing courses when my middle sis finishes college. I REALLY like writing. I never thought i would but I do. If u told me in hs i would be thinking of this i would laugh in ur face but now i want to be a writer. I really do. I think about it all the time. I want to do this. I want to go back to school to become better. I need to. My family and I just probably won't have the money to so any time soon. But i want to go back. I...... I think i can do this. I really do. For the first time I believe i can become someone.

You'll Have 2 True Loves

You don't just believe in love at first site - you've experienced it.

You develop crushes pretty easily, but keeping your interest is another matter!

You are very prone to love - hate relationships.

Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 4

You are most compatible with people born on the 1st, 10th, 19th, and 28th of the month.

You Should Have Been Born Under: Dog

You are totally loyal, faithful, and honest.

However, you don't trust others to be as ethical as you are!

Straight forward and direct, you really aren't one for small talk.

You are a great listener - and an agreeable companion when you're in a good mood!

You are most compatible with a Tiger or Horse.

You Were Born Under The Daring Dragon

You have both a fiery energy and a warm heart.

Your charisma and charm makes it easy for you to influence others.

Lucky in life, you also have a reputation of being lucky in love.

Power hungry, you are determined to get what you want - no matter what it takes.

You are most compatible with a Monkey or Rat.

You Are a Friendly Ex

While the guys you've dated haven't been perfect, you've kept most as friends

In fact, one or two of your exes may be your best friends - after all, they know you best

And though your mature attitude is awesome, make sure nothing gets too weird

Or else you could lose these friendships, simply because your exes' new women think you're *too* friendly

You Are Sometimes Considered a Hot Chick

While you may not get the most offers in the room,

You've got a good thing going - dating wise

You could flirt more and dress up a bit to attract more guys

But in general, you are doing just fine!

You Would Win Best Costume Design

You are imaginative, artistic, and very unique. You are a natural designer.

You can picture entire movies in your head. You are incredibly visual.

As long as you can remember, you've always had a flare for fashion. You like to experiment with looks.

You like dressing up in costumes and outfits. And not just for Halloween!

You Are a Lover

You think that there's no use in fighting, even if you know you're right.

No one wants to hear that they're wrong, so you try your best to compromise.

You have love in your heart for almost everyone. You focus on what you do have in common with people.

Life is so much nicer when everyone gets along. For you, that harmony is the most important thing.


o_O Say what? u want me to go where!?!

wait how many cons.....Collapse )

ok now on to movie night with cc!! will write more about story LATER!! ja ne!

(wave) hi people!

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So i hit 50,000 words!! and im about 9 pgs away from 150pgs!! i have finished my outline and i have already gone off it X_X When authors say their characters run away from ya they werent kidding........ the ending fight has become bigger than it first was going to it ^_^;;; like it wasn't long enough already.... >_>

and im screening out anonymous comments cause im tired of all the spam i have been getting X_X

life and story update!

 so first the life update!

life update!Collapse )

now story update!!

story update!Collapse )

Ohayocon con 2011 report!!


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And things just get more confusing!!

 If your friends with me on fb, u know i have been working a lot the past couple days and im pooped. I seriously need new shoes but i have no money for them. So i haven't talked much to the guy from my last post, sadly. last time was on thrusday. (plus it seems my aim hasnt been saving my chats X_X)

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he says he will message me tomorrow about how he is.... so we will see how this goes tomorrow i guess....

fyi- my icon is how i feel right now X_X
So everyone knows i HATE going downtown. It's too crowded and smelly and can't drive downtown at all so i walk which i rather not do. But I came to the conclusion that I needed to go and do more things than this go to work and cons. So I have decided that that meant I would go to my muse and laura's anime club downtown every teusday since the new sem starts. I will ask it off so I can go which week. I have gone twice already thanks to having the days off naturally. I got lost the second time X_X Like I said I hate downtown.

But u see I was really scared to go to their anime club cause there was someone that my muse wanted to set up me with, and while I have been getting over Leo (cause u no me that takes me awhile X_X) and wanted to meet new guys, i was scared of being set up. But I needed to go out and meet people since going out dancing every weekend with cc isn't going to happen anytime soon, I caved and went.

Now this guy is real nice and kind of cute. He's a gamer, loves anime, and cosplays a little bit. And he is ok with me being a yaoi fangirl. Which is something I really like since my last bf HATED that fact about me. Not that I would talk to him about yaoi and gave him yaoi to read cause thats creepy, its nice to know he doesn't care.

I have only met him twice but we talk on fb and stuff. And we flirt back and forworth, which fun cause it makes me... um well i don't blush, my face just gets really hot but without the red, which hasn't happen to me for the past two years I have been alone.

But he may like someone else.... but i'm confused by that for the fact the day after he explained what happened with him and this girl, we start chatting on fb chat, which he started, and i am pretty sure he was flirting with me. I know i was and i know he was during club the week before and i know he was on fb chat last night. We saw video chatted on skype, which was a lot of fun, though at the end, just like what happens to anything i do for hrs on end (even talking with cc!) i was getting discrated* by things ^_^;;; U all no how addicted i am to the internet.... it was calling me!! :-P I cant even sit and read for hrs on end, i have to get up and move and junk then go back to reading. But i do no when he asked to video chat, i have no idea if i blushed, but i no my face was hot!

I did give advice how to fixed it with the girl, cause im too nice and kind-hearted to have just ruin it for him. And plus i have only met this guy twice and i dont want to rush into things too quickly, again. But with the way he is acting, i wonder if that was a test of some sort or what. I no i said either he could say thing or not and learn from his mistake and move on. I don't no what happened but i do know we were flirting before it down fall happened, so maybe he liked both of us and he wanted to see what i would do.

I just no now again, I'm in the inbetween part of me finishing getting over the old bf and starting to like a different guy. Cause it seems to me that I always have to like a guy.... can never not like someone X_X And of course I'm too shy to ask anything. I rather him spell it out. And I'm also afraid of what he will want out of the relationship. Everyone knows while I'm ok cuddling with certain people when i start it, but im not a big toucher. I dont like to be touched and my fear of being anything more the PG-13 is great. and all thanks to be that stupid librarian! Plus i have little exp. in relationships so I'm quite scared all way around. But I like this guy quite a bit.

So I guess time will tell what will happen. Gods, let it be good cause Lords no i need something good in my life right now.

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